Kids & Parenting

How to tame a teen

Shrijita Som | November 4th, 2019 . 6:22 pm






Teenage is a wonderful time, as well as a dreadful one- if not handled carefully. Here is my tips on how to guide a teenager to be a fine adult.

A teenager is a child oblivious to the outside world and an adult capable of handling major responsibilities: the teenage is the missing link between the two stages of human life. Contrary to the cheerful, careless and fun years as the general image of a teenager as it is depicted to have, a teenager’s life is full of complexities, misunderstandings, confusions and struggles. The supreme time to find out one’s real interest and boost one’s career, yet too risky to be deflected from the path towards a bright future, teenage sure is a difficult time for most people.

People have to face the consequences of hormonal changes during their growth, which takes the final form in teenage years. Between the ages 13 to 19, their body takes the shape of adults and their minds are developed too. They become curious and want to find their identity in the world. They strive for excellence, to make a mark on the society and get ready to bet their all for that- yet they are too vulnerable and often experience lower self-esteem. They have the highest level of energies but most of them do not know how to use it to the best of their capabilities.

Actually, they have it all. All they need is a proper care and guidance. Having one or more teenager(s) around you and dealing with them is never easy. As a person survived the teenage, you can identify with their restlessness and curiosity very well, but do not know how to fix their problems. Teenagers are the carrier of their generation in many ways, they are always updated and tend to follow the latest trends, which may irritate the adults. But it is just how they are- a beautiful mess. You have to be especially careful to make fine adults out of them. Here are the few ways you can deal with them-

Understand their problems- With all the abrupt hormonal imbalances, peer pressure and studies, their lives cannot be more difficult. Their cravings for individualism make them poor at handling peer pressure. They have their own sets of expectations, dreams and goals. They may not be perfect, but they try to be their best version always. It is just that their means are exclusive and not always right. Their craving for success and feeling socially secure had so many of them obsessed with social media, desperate to be in love with someone or made them do weird things to go viral in social media. But at the end of the day, these are only their ways of screaming for attention. But most of them are misunderstood and misjudged. We tend to frown at them every now and then and make them do what the society wants for them- often making them turn rebellious. Each of them is different and have different tendencies in the same situations. The people around them must be associated with their world to understand them.

Be patient-

It means a lot. Be liberal enough to know them so that they can come to you in their time of distress and misery. Listen what they have to say without any questions at first, let them open up their heart to you. Try to keep your calm even when they are about to cross their limits. All they are waiting for is your little sign of impatience, and they will start to think their existence holds no value for you.

Be genuine-

Treat them as a teen. They are not to be treated as a mere child or as a responsible adult. Talk to them in a constructive way. Let them feel that you are there for them, no matter what. Make them value you, win their trust slowly. Only then they will be thoughtful of you and listen to what they say.

Be reasonable-

Teenage is the time to crave for freedom. They need certain amount of freedom to grow up and be dependable. Watching over their every activities closely, “helicopter parenting” as they say nowadays, is very dangerous for their learning of taking responsibilities. But too much freedom is dangerous as well. You can set your teen certain boundaries. Let them clearly know how much they can afford to be free. Be it financial limit or how much time they can stay outside after dusk, some primary rules can save you a hell lot of work of yelling at them.

Do not forget to explain the causes of each of your actions. Let them question you and find out your mentality. You can even explain the consequences if they refuse to follow your thoughts. This way they can get a clear idea of what they should expect in different situations. Ignore their fun activities to some extent and be their role model so they can have a clear idea how they should behave once they are adults. Sometimes you can just make joke of their silly mistakes so they can know it is okay to do wrong sometimes.

Be friendly-

You should schedule time to interact with them. Engage in different fun activities so you can have a good memory to share. Get involved with their friends. If you can, study the subject of interest of your teenager a bit so you can help them achieve their dreams. Nowadays, there are plenty of career opportunities. It is okay if they do not study properly. Just ensure they build up proper skills to establish their career in the path of success. Encourage them to say what they are thinking, with proper logic and change your opinion if you feel their opinion to have more sense.

Be cautious-

“This too shall pass”, of course the teen years will not last. But keep an eye on their behaviour. Sudden weight loss or gain, sleeping for too long, eating too much or very less, and being unnecessarily rude very often can be the cause of depression. Have a clear idea if they are going through one. Talk to the therapist whenever needed and treat them carefully. So many lives are lost prematurely for a lack of assurance that the people they have in their lives, will support them in their time of need.

And lastly, take care of yourself. Having a teenager around can be very hectic. You should have your own share of rest too. Eat healthy and try to stay mentally fit always. Only then you can cope up with the teenagers properly.

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